You think you know.. but I'll tell you more.

Getting older

2009-09-19T11:52:00.000-07:00

September 15, 2009 - My Sanctuary

When the clock struck midnight, I was pleasantly greeted by a birthday cake by my whole family - plus dad and his guitar (O_O). It was a surprise and I was sorta surprised, just an hour before this happened, my youngest sister Rhea mentioned a lil sumthin sumthin that Kuya and Rhona had prepared and she quickly took it back saying it was blah and blah - but that didn’t throw me off, I smelled something fishy.

But honestly, I didn’t think they had baked a cake. Homemade sponge cake by my siblings? The greatest gift ever. =) Apparently, they had spent hours trying to perfect the icing - which I still criticized them about (yep, I wouldn’t be me if I weren’t critical of other people, LOL) but all in all, it was awesome.

The cake had a heart and I cut it in half. I am such an emo. / wrist. HAHA.

I was watching a movie when they took the cake from out of nowhere and then my dad entered strumming his guitar and singing Happy Birthday with my mom. Gah. Hahaha.

My family is love. ♥

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I didn't really make a proper wish on my birthday. There have been so many blessings that I figured I could go without making a wish for this year. Besides, whatever fate has in store for me, I can face it. I have taken things for granted in the past, and maybe still am, but I'm learning to accept everything I have now. :) I think being happy is everyone's wish on their birthday, and I am. That's enough for me.

Medical Exams - St. Peter Paul Medical Center

2009-09-05T20:04:00.000-07:00

Gah, I've been so busy with a lot of things especially with my work visa. LOL

For those who have been referred to St. Peter Paul Medical Clinic by your agencies, here's some information:

PHASE I

Fill up forms at the tables by the entrance. Make sure you bring:

a)Referral from agency
b)Latest 4pcs. 2 x 2 pictures (for HongKong, UAE/Dubai, Taiwan, Saudi, Korea)
c)Latest 6 pcs. 2 x 2 pictures (for Qatar only)
d)Latest 10 pcs. 2 x 2 pictures (for Malaysia only)
e)Latest 8 pcs. pictures, 1 x 1 4pcs & 4pcs 2 x 2 (for Qatar only)
f)Photocopy of Passport/NBI Clearance
g)Clean Bottle containing thumb sized stool sample (I brought one but they can provide you with one anyway)
h)Exact payment for Medical

Step 1 - Information
This is where all your papers are checked after you go through the initial processing. They will stamp the backside of your hand and ask you to proceed to the cashier.

Step 2 - Cashier
I paid P2,430 for the first phase of the medical exams.

Step 3 - PE, ECG
The physical exam is here. They check your weight and height first and the gruelling part starts.
For the girls, be sure to expect a violation of your body's privacy. That's all I'm going to say. Breast and anal exam happens here. No details needed. ;)

Don't worry, women doctors will attend to the ladies.

Step 4 - Blood, Urine & Stool Exam
If you're scared of needles, be afraid now. They will get your blood sample here and although the medical aides are professional.. still, it hurts afterwards. Plus, if you haven't eaten anything, you're going to get dizzy because it isn't the end of the steps. There's more.

After the blood sample, you will be given a little bottle for your urine. There's a bathroom specially for applicants. By the way, the medical centre is so strict that someone will actually watch you pee. Uncomfortable. Seriously. That way nobody can cheat the exam.

Then comes the stool exam. It was around 2pm and they gave us until 3pm to submit a sample but since the only toilet available was used for the urine exams.. well, we couldn't exactly use those. The others probably walked to Robinson's to use the comfort rooms. LOL

Step 5 - X-Ray

I was sort of surprised when I entered the X-Ray room. They were all male medical aides/nurses. Tsk. There's a partition in the rooms where you can change into the medical gowns (which are thin). Ladies need to remove their tops and bras.

Step 6 - Optometry

Here, your eyes will be checked. I'm obviously a failure here with my poor eyesight. If you don't have any glasses yet, well, you can always buy a pair there, although it's better to buy cheaper ones outside.

Step 7 - Audiometry

There is a (sort-of) soundproof room with a chair for you to sit on. You'll need to put on the headphones. They will ask you to raise your right hand when you hear any sound from the headphones. I just found out that I have mild hearing loss.. but I dare you to take the exam when you haven't had breakfast or lunch AND you're tired AND people's voices outside can still be heard. Tsk. I wanted to retake the exam when I had had proper sleep but I didn't want to delay any longer. ;)

Step 8 - Dental Exam

Before the medical exams, it is suggested that you visit your dentist. If you have any teeth that need filling or need to be taken out, please do so. It's cheaper outside. Or you could do what I did. I had my teeth checked at the center and then visited a dentist afterwards. The next day I gave them the dental certificate.

Step 9 - Psychological Exam

At the X-Ray section, they give you the sheet for the psych exam. It consists of a "complete the sentences" part. ;)

There is also a draw-a-person test plus an abstract exam as well for everyone. :) And then there is a "resident psychologist/psychiatrist" or at least the psych test checkers that will want to clarify some of your answers. Like they did with mine. But I won't go into any details.

After a day or two, you can return and follow up at the "release" section. ;)

PHASE II

When I went to follow-up, they told me to go to the cashier and pay for my vaccinations. I had to get Hepatitis B and Tetanus shots so that was an additional P650. After paying, I went straight to the Step 2 room. The doctor gave me the shots one after the other. My arms became numb afterwards. LOL

And that's it. The doctor told me when to return to get my results.

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After getting my results, I had to wait for two days for the medical center to forward the results to the Brunei embassy before I could apply for my work visa. ;)

All else is history. Work kills me. LOL

Work Visa - Brunei

2009-09-04T22:36:00.000-07:00

For a direct hire in Brunei, you need to prepare two sets of the following documents, arranged in this way as well:

1) Contract duly notarized by the Magistrate Court (w/repatriation clause)
2) BUR 500
3) Visa Approval
4) Labor Quota
5) IC of the Employer, or anyone in the business registration (Sec.17 or Form X)
6) Bus Reg. Sec. 16 & 17
7) Copy of the Passport of the Worker
8) Authorization of the one submitting the documents from the employer
9) Payment: Verification fee = B$19.00
Authentication fee = B$42.50

NOTE:
1. All pages of the contract must be signed by the employer
2. Salary must be based on the Job Order/Manpower Request
3. Bring the original BUR500 & Visa Approval

* Usually, the documents will be provided by your employer. However, I had to pay for the authentication verification fees.

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Also, after all these you need to start work officially. After three working days, you need to go back to the embassy with these:

1) Certificate from the employer (stating that you have worked for 3 days and will continue to do so when you return from the Phils)
2) Certificate from the employee (stating the same thing)
3) Pay slip for three working days

They will then process your OEC (Overseas Employment Certificate). This way you don't have to go through the process in the Philippines (where the lines are super long and tiring).

Normally the OEC will be issued after you have your work visa and have undergone the medical exam in the Philippines but since 2006, the embassy has issued a memorandum that they can release OECs to new workers provided they meet the requirements stated above.

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If you have any questions, let me know.

quick entry

2009-05-24T14:31:00.000-07:00

So.. there are two cases of the swine flu virus in the Philippines as of today. I'm really worried because my mom and big brother are coming home this week and I hope they don't catch anything before they get here because they'll have to go through quarantine. There's just something about that that scares me. Don't ask.

Aside from the swine flu that struck the country, the next big piece of news that everyone keeps talking about is the scandal involving Katrina Halili and Hayden Co. I go to Facebook, Plurk and other social networking sites and people are asking for links to the sex video that has been floating around the net. (O_O)

"Walang babae na nasa matinong kaisipan ang papayag na i-video habang nagtatalik" No woman in her right mind would allow herself to be taped while having intercourse, says a radio newscaster. I agree. But we live in a world where reality is distorted and some women find it alright to keep a souvenir of their intimate times.

This scandal was all it took for the government to start thinking of ways to protect women and from other videos from being uploaded on the internet. All I can say is that they can't stop this. The internet is a bigger world than our real one. It's difficult to limit what you can and can't do because people are going to find ways around these barriers. It's a hacker's job.

I think the authorities should look into the movie industry and stop making all these movies that encourage porn/homemade videos. Sexy actresses make it big and why the hell is that? They should be using the money to make decent movies, or at least hire better screenwriters who are original so they can stop "borrowing" ideas from foreign films.

Gah.

Yes, I am a bit irritable today. And I have to be in the clinic in a few hours because my little brother is down with the flu and hasn't slept properly due to an earache. T__T At least my headache is gone. I pray that I stay healthy. Go body resistance, go!

Happy Mama's Day

2009-05-09T21:43:00.000-07:00

If you've visited my Tumblr page, you will realize my renewed interest in comics and the like, and therefore today, on one of the most important days of the year, I'd like to share one.

Credit: Toothpaste For Dinner

You don't need to be a genius to understand why Mother's Day celebrations are usually more widespread than Father's Day ones. I don't mean to say that mothers are superior to fathers (although yes, I agree there are specific aspects moms excel in) but it's probably due to the fact that we lived in our mother's wombs for approximately nine months.

A mother's love for her child is like nothing else in the world. It knows no law, no pity, it dares all things and crushes down remorselessly all that stands in its path.
-- Agatha Christie

Motherhood is not for the faint-hearted. Frogs, skinned knees, and the insults of teenage girls are not meant for the wimpy.
-- Danielle Steel

My mother had a slender, small body, but a large heart - a heart so large that everybody's joys found welcome in it, and hospitable accommodation.
-- Mark Twain

My mom is not a perfect person, she has a lot of flaws but as I grew up, I witnessed how hard she worked to take care of her family, and she always kept things to herself because she didn't want to worry anyone. Now that I'm older though, she shares some of her burdens and secrets with me. She had to deal with a lot of teen angst coming from me. I wasn't always on good terms with her.

But my mother will always be one of my heroes. I look up to her when I'm hurting. I guess I learned how to bottle up my feelings from her. I know it's not good but I can't help it. As long as others are happy, it's okay for me to hurt inside. Of course, after a while I have learned to stop hiding too many feelings. :)

I can't be with my mom today since she's still in Phils but I constantly let her know how much she means to me. She is moved by little things we do for her, that it becomes wonderful to surprise her sometimes. My kuya is a mommy's boy though. And I am jealous of him when he gets his way. My dad always comes to my rescue though. :D

My parents.. They can't be replaced. Hindi ko sila ipagpapalit.

Happy Mother's Day to all the mothers out there! This is your day. ^______^

mŭ qīn jié kuài lè! ! 어머니날 축하합니다 ! Joyeuse fête des mères! Feliz Día de la Madre! Selamat Hari Ibu! 母の日おめでとう !

Couch Potato - My Top 5

2009-05-08T11:14:00.000-07:00

Because I do not like to dwell on the heavy stuff too much (see previous blog entry), I am going to lighten the atmosphere. Does everyone watch American Idol? I've been following this season's progress since the first episode and I was just shocked that Allison was voted off. I know I'm not the only one who thinks this way. Adam will always be in the safe zone, heck, I bet people would be surprised if he didn't win this season.

Why the title? Well, I love watching movies and various TV shows. Ever since I can remember, I'd always been fascinated about learning things on TV. Yes, I know that some things you learn from the tube isn't always good.. but for me, the information you get from the media is neither good nor bad unless you decide what to do with it. That's when things become more complicated.

Other than the many Japanese and Korean dramas I have watched, and blogged about over on the other side, I have my share of favorite shows from the West.

Here are my top five American shows:

WARNING : SPOILERS INCLUDED.

1. Supernatural

A story about the Winchester brothers, Sam and Dean are thrust into the world of destroying demons, vampires and werewolves. Having watched Charmed, Buffy and Angel, this became my next favorite show. And although I just started watching it early last year, I have never missed an episode.

Those who don't like horror movies or are frightened by noises in the night might need a friend or two to accompany you while watching this since this show is within that genre. Okay, so I lied, I have missed ONE episode entitled "Bloody Mary", I just remembered today, haha. Didn't want to watch it alone. I'm such a sissy. :D

Anyway, this season is just about to reach its end, with the Apocalypse near, and Lilith breaking all the seals to Hell's Gate. In the last episode, Dean and Sam have a confrontation and Sam being the stronger of the two (with demon blood and all) won the fight, but I am not sure what happens next. I am so hooked to this.

Supernatural sort of reminds me of Mythquest, an old TV show that was about discovering myths. Here, the ghost stories from various cultures, from the lady in white, the rakshasa to the boogeyman make the show very interesting to watch.

Of course the two hot lead actors (Jared Padalecki/Jensen Ackles) had everything to do with my love for the show. ;) Watch out for Dean's witty lines/antics that add a lot of humor to the show.

Sam: I've got a theory. Sort of.
Dean: Hit me.
Sam: Well, thinking about fairy tales.
Dean: Oh, that’s... that's nice. You think about fairy tales often?
----------
Sam: (staring at frog on the road) Yeah, you’re right, that's completely normal.
Dean: All right, maybe it is fairy tales. Totally messed-up fairy tales. I'll tell you one thing, there’s no way I'm kissing a damned frog.
(3x05-Bedtime Stories)

2. The Big Bang Theory

My friend recommended this to me and at first I was really skeptical because, well, I had enough shows to watch and it might just disappoint me. It didn't. In fact, I fell in love with the characters.

I heart Sheldon Cooper. He is just so undeniably charming~ in a really geeky sort of way and he is probably so oblivious to the fact that a lot of people like him for being a genius, not to mention a bit anti-social. You should see how he deals with people. ;)

His roommate Leonard is no exception. Meet his mom, the psychiatrist who feels the need to analyze every situation and every person that comes her way. But he fares better than Sheldon in the social scene. :D

They had a perfectly normal (in their own definition) daily routine, and in comes their new neighbor Penny, with average intelligence, the girl-next-door type, and that's when new friendships are forged. When Leonard and Sheldon speak Star Wars/Star Trek, I feel like Penny. Totally has no idea of what any of them is talking about.

Leonard: We need to widen our circle.
Sheldon: I have a very wide circle. I have 212 friends on myspace.
Leonard: Yes, and you’ve never met one of them.
Sheldon: That’s the beauty of it.

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Penny: I’m a Sagittarius, which probably tells you way more than you need to know.
Sheldon: Yes, it tells us that you participate in the mass cultural delusion that the sun’s apparent position relative to arbitrarily defined constellations at the time of your birth somehow affects your personality.
Penny: (puzzled) Participate in the what?

3. House M.D.

I was watching House M.D. while everyone else was into Grey's Anatomy. After three seasons of House and then trying out Grey's A, the latter just didn't feel right to me. This is probably because I miss the ever-witty Dr. House (Hugh Laurie gives an excellent portrayal) and his legion of slaves, er, I mean, fellow doctors.

Watch out for Season 3 of House when he's on the plane and a Pinoy stewardess speaks in Tagalog. I don't know if she said Nilalagnat ka ba or Nalalagnat ka ba due to her heavy American accent which she felt like she needed to lather her words with. GEEZ.

I also miss CutThroatBitch, or Amber if you prefer. Why did they have to kill her off in Season 4 ? I was having so much fun seeing her and House bicker nonstop. Definitely a good match, not romantically though.

House: "Don't pin this on Christ, he's got enough nails in him..."

Cuddy: "Dr. House! Need you here."
House: "No thanks. Lotta sick people. I might catch something."

Nun: "Sister Augustine believes in things that aren't real."
House: "I thought that was a job requirement for you people."

4. Prison Break

When my brother told me to watch this with him, I went "Gah, I don't like TV shows with action." but the first episode had me 'glued to the screen', unblinking (oh yes, I am a fan of overusing hyperbole). I probably said the word "cool" too much while watching the pilot. A structural engineer who had himself thrown in prison just to save his brother who was accused of a crime he didn't commit. Get this -- he helped design that prison and so he had the blueprint tattooed onto his whole body, every nook and cranny.

Along the way though, many people got involved and what started out as only him and his brother breaking out of prison turned into almost ten people. And yes, all hell broke loose afterwards. After breaking out of prison in season one, many other challenges faced the brothers and the other convicts. Of course I can't really spoil everything. You just have to watch it for yourself. Look at me, I was never into action-packed shows, but a TV show with Wentworth Miller as the lead is definitely worth watching. :D (He made me like guys with shaved heads. HAHA)

T-Bag: You know, it vexes me that I'm made out to be the bad guy in the room. It's not like y'all are incarcerated for stealing girl scout cookies.
Abruzzi: None of us murdered any girl scouts in the process.

5. Gossip Girl

When I was younger, I got to watch Beverly Hills 90210 and other teen programs involving scandals and such but Gossip Girl takes it to a whole new level. We get to see what kind of insane tactics the elites have to come up with get something they really want. People want to be rich all the time ~ but we know that being rich isn't everything.

I'm certain that there are real people out there with lives just like these characters. Honestly, I don't watch the show just because of its plot, but also because high-end fashion is the shiz. :D I love Serena's hair, she doesn't need to comb it for it to look good. ;)

Georgina: I gave up my old ways when I let Jesus take the wheel.
Blair: That is a Carrie Underwood song, not a life choice!

And who am I? That's one secret I'll never tell. You know you love me. Xoxo, GossipGirl

Runner-ups

Dollhouse

After Buffy, Angel and Firefly, Joss Whedon whips up another creation, entitled Dollhouse. I was quite curious when I found out about it. Contrary to what people say, that people are just watching it to show respect to Whedon, I am watching it because of its unique story.

Wiping out people's minds and putting in a whole new personality is enough to intrigue me. Since I studied psychology, I know how very complex human beings are and you can't just wipe out memories like that, there MUST be repercussions. Eventually, a few will come back. This show is one way for me to be more in touch with the psyche of people.

The season's finale was aired a few hours ago.

Laurence: (about the Actives) Don't think of them as children, think of them as pets.
Claire: Is that supposed to be funny?
Laurence: If your child starts talking for the first time, you feel proud. If your dog does, you freak the hell out.

Ballard: Tell me about the Dollhouse.
Joel Mynor: The Doll... Uh, it's pink, and it opens up, and there's teeny furniture, and you put the boy doll on top of the girl doll and we learn about urges.

Lie To Me

This show is only in its first season. Just like Dollhouse, it has a connection to psychology, heck I think everything has a connection to it, but this one deals with the science of lying. How can we really tell if a person is lying? Before I watched this show, I believed that the only reliable device to use to check if someone's lying is the lie detector test, also known as the polygraph. But even that can be cheated.

In Lie To Me, Dr. Cal Lightman is a deception expert, he is a psychologist who studied facial expressions and body language. Believe me, it's a very informative show.

Cal: (to Gillian) You know, you were very good back there, with Mrs. Burch. Very nurturing. Maybe you should get a puppy. I could talk to Obama's people.

Cal Lightman: The average person lies 3 times for every 10 minutes of conversation.

South Park

An animated show about four kids living in South Park, Colorado. They started out as pretty normal kids until they learned the vocabulary of the streets, which include vulgar terms that I might or might not mention here once in a while. :D

I didn't watch its first season which dates back to the late 90s but I have watched enough to consider myself a fan. Cartman is my love. Haha. He makes the meanest statements and the rudest jokes. If you're not offended that easily, give this one a try. Plus, Cartman still plays with toys and has tea parties. ROFL

He's the ~~fat~~ bigboned kid. ;)

Eric Cartman: Hippies.They're everywhere. They wanna save the earth, but all they do is smoke pot and smell bad.

Mr. Garrison: Who was in charge of the feminist movement of the early '60's?
Cartman: A bunch of fat old skanks on their periods.
Mr. Garrison:

Doctor: Making breasts larger is a beautiful and wonderful thing. Making them smaller is…insane.

Cartman: You so much as TOUCH kitty's ass, and I'll put a firecracker in your nutsack and blow your balls all over your pants.
Stan: Jesus, Cartman.
Cartman: Well, I'm just sayn', man, seriously, don't mess with kitty, man.

Cartman: It's Christmas. We officially missed it. It's Christmas Day and I'm in Canada.
Kyle: Yeah, but I got my brother back.
Cartman: Yeah, you got your brother back but I didn't get any presents. And what did I tell you, Kyle? I told you if we didn't make it back in time for Christmas I was gonna whoop your ass, didn't I? Now you're gonna get it, motherfucker. That's it, you and me. Right now. We're having it out. Come on. Come on.
[Kyle slaps Cartman]
Cartman: WAAAAAAAH. WAAAAAAAAH. MOOOOOOM. MOOOOOOM.

Credits: All photos courtesy of TV Yahoo! :)

I realize this is probably the longest post I have on this blog. Just goes to show that I really heart tv shows. ;)

How about y'all? What's your favorite TV show? :)

Back from hiatus

2009-05-07T16:03:00.000-07:00

Yep, I have re-designed my blog to a more simple template and it seems to be less cluttered to me than the previous one even if green is one of my favorite colors.

I have been gone for too long. How long has it been, two months? And I do not even know where to begin my story. And what I have been doing during my hiatus. But I will try to keep it as brief as possible, which is of course difficult for me since I like rambling on and on about the same thing until I feel better.

Early April I was busy preparing for our flight back to the Philippines for my brother's graduation and a week before that scheduled flight, we received a call from relatives that my (paternal) grandmother had passed away. I cannot describe how I felt then, and being the one to tell my father the news while he was at work.. it was agonizing. My mother (who was already in Phils) was the one who called me, and as soon as I said "Hello?", she began crying and my heart stopped. The kind that isolates you from the world. And then she told me. I was devastated because my kuya had just visited her days before telling her that she should be strong, and that she would see her great-grandchildren~ :( My kuya probably felt worse than I did. He had always been close to that side of the family and I am close to my mom's side.

That wasn't the only tragedy that befell our family while we were there. My aunt Daisy was confined to the hospital a day after we arrived due to her heart disease (enlargement of the heart I think) and I visited her asking her to be really strong for herself. And I thanked her and kissed her. It was the least I could do. She was the one who took care of kuya and me while we were studying in the Philippines. Her lungs were very weak as well so she had a tube down her throat while we were talking to her. Not a sight I want to see again, ever.

A few days later, we got into an accident. Our jeep's brakes malfunctioned and we crashed into a parked truck. Thank goodness nobody was hurt but we were all rattled. It was the first time I was involved in an accident and I could play it in my mind numerous times in slow motion and still shudder at the memory. Because we were just about to get to the highway then. What if we lost our brakes there? I think there would have been major damages.

I began to think that a cloud of bad luck was surrounding our family. Just a few days before kuya's graduation! Tss. So we couldn't visit my aunt in the hospital because aside from not having any transportation, there was still my grandma's funeral expenses and such that my parents had to deal with.

And then the last strike came. My aunt passed away. She had been in and out of the ICU, and her frail body probably could not stand it so she had let go. It hurt a lot. I don't know how many days I cried after that, more than when my grandma died (at least that was due to age / natural causes!). While she was in the hospital, my aunt had a notebook with her always, and although the medicine she was taking was messing up her reflexes, she managed to write a few things. I will never forget her words "I don't want to die yet. I will keep fighting."

So you see, my life was in a dark hole for the past month or so. But I still want to look at the bright side of life. My brother managed to finish his Engineering degree and graduate on time, my little brother is newly circumsized and I still have a boyfriend (will explain later).

My aunt and my grandma were two very important people in my life. I grieved for them because I would not be able to see them anymore but I know they are in a better place. And perhaps the sun shines brighter there...

Taken near our grandparents' grave. Both my father's parents are gone now.

Another Geek Day

2009-03-02T21:39:00.000-08:00

I may not have posted a blog for a long time. That's because I was making preparations for today. It's a really big day. WHy?

It's SQUARE ROOT DAY!

REDWOOD CITY, Calif. – Dust off the slide rules and recharge the calculators. Square Root Day is upon us.

The geeks' holiday, which only occurs nine times each century, falls on Tuesday — 3/3/09 (for the mathematically challenged, three is the square root of nine).

"These days are like calendar comets, you wait and wait and wait for them, then they brighten up your day(How???) — and poof — they're gone," said Ron Gordon, a Redwood City teacher who started a contest meant to get people excited about the event.

The winner gets, of course, $339 for having the biggest Square Root Day event.

Gordon's daughter even set up a Facebook page — one of a half-dozen or so dedicated to the holiday — and hundreds of people had signed up with plans to celebrate in some way. Celebrations are as varied: Some cut root vegetables into squares, others make food in the shape of a square root symbol.

The last such day was five years ago, Feb. 2, 2004, which coincided with Groundhog Day. The next is seven years away, on April 4, 2016

So my dear friends, enjoy your Square Root Day.. ;) If you guys hate Math, pretend you never read this post. ;D

Pi Day is just less than two weeks from now. Another cause for celebration~

And since we are talking geekiness, I thought I'd share a scene from my favorite TV show, Big Bang Theory. ;)

"I wanted a griffin... I was studying recombinant DNA technology and I was confident I could create one, but my parents were unwilling to secure the necessary eagle eggs and lion semen. Of course my sister got swimming lessons when she wanted them."

hearts day hangover

2009-02-16T11:54:00.000-08:00

I heart cats.

This post is Rated.. Super PG. ;)

How is everyone after Valentine's day? You lot must have received your share of Valentine goodies from your respective admirers slash stalkers (^^.) To be safe, I didn't look out for any birds today, but there were those black birds near our jackfruit tree ~ and no, I do not know what kind of birds they are. x) You might think crows or ravens, but I checked. Nope, they aren't.

I read off the news (yet again) that there was some sort of special Valentine's offer at a zoo in Michigan where visitors could take a peek at animal's sex lives, for $50/couple. I don't know if I would call it weird or anything but I would rather spend that fifty bucks out to watch a movie, clothes/shoe shopping or drowning myself in chocolates instead of witnessing the mating rituals of animals at the zoo even if there was champagne and hors d'oeuvres on the side (honestly, I cannot think of food and this 'show' blending well).

Let me know if you attended the event. And if you learned anything. Really.

Another disturbing thought: Did the keepers spray pheromones everywhere for them to mate for the uhm.. audience? I am definitely not an expert on animals (even if I do love*insert name of animal on pic above* and... and... well, tigers).

A few years ago, I was watching Discovery Channel with my mother when all of a sudden these two primates started mating passionately. I was taken aback. Too much loud grunting. Cringe-worthy moment. My hands were on the 'change channel' button before my mom could say anything, LOL. Before anyone starts saying that this should be something normal and bla bla, mind you, this is the conservative part of the world.

Asian parents don't openly talk about the 'birds and the bees' with their children. We actually have to 'discover' things by ourselves. We have to cover our eyes when there's kissing on TV (of course now Kuya, my younger sister and I are exempt from that unwritten rule - we are *ehem* grown-ups already based on an invisible age limit).

My randomness suddenly took over. This post made me think of the youngest mother in the world, Lina Medina who was 5 when she gave birth to her firstborn. Her periods started when she was only 8 months old. She is such an innocent young thing who had to go through that at such a fresh age.

Children should get a chance to savor their innocence and experience their childhood to the fullest because when the real problems start, well, everything becomes more complicated.

Just like love. ;)

bring on the birdies, sweetheart

2009-02-14T12:48:00.000-08:00

Happy Hearts Day~!

Whether you're single, taken, or in a "complicated" relationship,
I hope that today will be a good day.
It's also a chance for the emo people to be emo-er.

Dates all the way back to 269 A.D. but only in 1537 was it declared an official holiday. Although the U.S., Canada, Mexico, France, Australia and the U.K. are the only countries to celebrate Valentine's Day, other countries have their own Valentine's celebrations.

Trivia:

"Teachers will receive the most Valentine's Day cards, followed by children, mothers, wives, and then, sweethearts"

"An old English legend says the first man a single maiden lays encounters on February 14^th, she must marry. "

AHEM. Now that's one thing you chicas need to look out for then. Make sure he's everything you hope for.

"About 15% of American women will send themselves flowers on Valentine's Day."

Now, why would you spend a lot of money to send flowers to yourself. But then again, one might argue, why would you spend money to buy flowers for another person? Point taken.

"In the 17th century a hopeful maiden ate a hard-boiled egg and pinned five bay leaves to her pillow before going to sleep on Valentine's eve. It was believed this would make her dream of her future husband. "

ACK. Where am I going to get bay leaves at this time? Err.. not that I need to dream of my future husband, I already know what he looks like. Think Wentworth Miller. ;)

My favourite trivia:

There is this myth that if a girl sees any of these birds on Valentine's day, then she will know what kind of man she will marry.

Blackbird... A man of the cloth (Priest)
Bluebird... A man of laughter
Crossbill... A man of argument
Dove... A man of kindness
Goldfinch... A man of wealth
Robin... A man of the sea
Sparrow... A man of the country
Woodpecker... No man !!!
Yellow Hammer... A man of wealth
Yellow Wagtail... A man of wealth

If ONLY I knew how to tell birds apart.

======
Sources:
svd
gpfg

lucky break

2009-02-13T12:33:00.000-08:00

------------------
I read off Yahoo! News that some religious Muslim leaders in Sudan have urged young Muslim men and women to ignore Hearts Day because "it could lead couples astray". REALLY?

Public displays of affection is a no-no in Sudan and other Muslim countries.
No kissing, not even holding hands, in public.
I should know how strict Muslim laws are. During my high school years,
a girl and a boy sitting close together on school grounds warrant a trip to the disciplinary office.
And if you're a girl and got caught alone in a classroom with a guy (even in broad daylight),
say hello to suspension from school.

Long fingernails were not allowed either and when there were sudden spot checks (when discipline teachers go to each classroom to check your nails, hair and shoes), that is the time when my friends and I would give the excuse of having our periods (Muslims cannot cut their nails when they have their red rags).
Somehow, that small rule has changed though.

We could not dye our hair (even if it was so IN at that time) and if you're caught, they are going to cut the dyed portion of your hair (you guys should have seen this guy who thought it was so cool to have dyed spots on his head - think dalmatian - he had to go around school with his funny hair. At least the guys still have a songkok to cover their heads.

If you happen to be wearing white shoes on the day they do their spotchecks, say goodbye whiteys and meet your new black footwear
(courtesy of black spray paint from the discipline office)
Trust me, you do not want to break the rules too much.

But I really loved that school. Developed my love for English literature and
science there.

Anyway, sorry for getting a bit off - topic. I really don't know how this went from
Sudanese clerics to school. ;)

My head is somewhere else again.

***

Are you lucky in love this year..?

or will you also boycott Valentine's day?
----
I heart the rain.

because it keeps me from feeling the cold within.

*emo sirens blaring*

Alright, alright~! Because rain is beautiful to watch when you're indoors.

spooky schmooky

2009-02-12T12:02:00.000-08:00

Whooooo~

Yes, I know it's NOT Halloween yet.
Plus, I'm pretty sure October isn't the heart month
so I wouldn't want to waste this good picture find.

Hmm.. do you actually say Happy Friday the 13th to people or do you just nod and say "Whooo~ be scared"? It wasn't until high school that I got this tradition of greeting my friends when Friday the 13th came around. Not that there was anything to celebrate about though but people were a bit more uptight on this day than others (except maybe Halloween).

Friday has always been my favourite day (T.G.I.F anyone?) but my mother used to tell me of this old superstition (which I simply cannot remember at the moment but when I get the chance I will tell everyone) but that got me even more Friday-friendly. I was also never a 13 - hater. Never believed that the number 13 OR Friday are unlucky.

This is also the only day when paraskavedekatriaphobics isolate themselves. Another irrational fear, I say. According to some statistics on Wikipedia, people are usually careful on Friday the 13th, especially on the road. Do people feel like there are some little devils following you trying to cause a bit of trouble, or that Lady Luck was replaced by her wicked brother Lord Doom/Disaster/Danger?

No need for anyone to be scared, really. Besides, it's Valentine's Day tomorrow. People need to relax.

---------

I heart sneakers / Chucks.And I haven't walked/ran/hiked in a while.

simply untitled

2009-02-11T12:28:00.000-08:00

Did I tell you how much I love koala bears?
My best friend calls me Koko (Crunch).

It's sad to hear the news about the wildfire that swept through a region of Australia. :(
The death toll is rising too.
Condolences to all the families of the victims.
I pray for everyone else's safety.

I don't really know what else to say.
These things can make you feel down in the dumps.
I think I easily absorb other people's feelings.
Too much empathy makes my heart bleed easily.

I apologize for posting this somewhat random and strange post.

--------

I heart cuddly bears

and hugs.

staying indoors

2009-02-10T11:15:00.000-08:00

I just realized, I miss playing board games like Boggle. Somehow, it helps me relax (until someone gets the upper hand :P). Another one of my fave is of course Snakes and Ladders plus Monopoly though I haven't played in a while.

Nothing much to blog about today. A bit under the weather too. Gloomy. But no, I am not depressed to the point that I need to see a psychiatrist (I can just write to myself for that).

------------
I heart Scrabble.

and I heart scribbling.

history repeats itself

2009-02-09T11:14:00.000-08:00

Nothing much to blog about today except that when I was browsing through the net, I came across a news article that the airing of "Hetalia: Axis Powers" on one of Japan's kids channels was cancelled due to protests from Koreans.

This issue reached the national assembly in Korea, where the airing of the show is deemed a criminal act. Apparently, the character named Korea brings bad light to the country. Korea and Japan have quite a history and there is still lingering animosity between the two countries due to their dark past.

We all know what happened in World War Two. And if you don't, and want a refresher course that's entertaining, check out the manga. No, I am not promoting it at all. The author of the manga actually did real research before finalizing any of the stories. I'm no history teacher and cannot account for the accuracy of the facts. There are a lot of people talking about this now ever since the petition to cancel it was successful.

It was this story that actually drove me to watch the first two English-subbed episodes of the said TV show, which is based on a manga. It revolves around characters named after countries and it shows their stereotypes. America always wants to be the hero, Canada likes to cover everything in maple syrup, Russia loves vodka (and likes to stay in his own corner), China is a big fan of Hello Kitty (wtf?) and likes pandas, France likes to quarrel with England who is very cynical to America and so on, so forth. you will meet Finland, Lithuania and others too.

This manga is potentially offensive but manga-lovers know that its aim is to just amuse readers while giving them a summarized World War lesson. But I know a lot who would disagree with me, that what the Japanese did to the Koreans when they were in power were unforgiveable. Hey, the Japanese occupied the Philippines and did nasty things too but you don't see me bashing them for it. We're supposed to learn from history, NOT try to bring up the past whenever we get the chance.

Enough of that then.

------------
I heart origami.

Because it's the only thing that I can do when I am really bored. I haven't done origami for a while but I still am an expert in making origami frogs, lotuses and candle-holders, and maybe some pagodas.

A few more days till Valentine's. I wonder if I should do this picture-a-thon til the end of the month. Yep, I shall do that.

------

I promised myself I would not fangirl here (I have a separate blog for my fangirl fantasies), but since he is somewhat related to the blog topic today, I thought I'd put up one of his pics.

I heart Jun Matsumoto. (Yes, he IS Japanese)
It was instinctive. I had to like him the first time I saw him.

Vain much?

Global Crisis

2009-02-07T22:22:00.001-08:00

Aside from the global economic crisis that is affecting a lot of people at the moment, I see a more pressing crisis at hand.

Although Baler, Aurora is supposedly the typhoon capital of the Philippines (where typhoons make their grand entrances and prolonged exits), I lived in a place close to that. When I first moved there to study for my Psychology degree, about three typhoons hit our province to which my overly humorous older brother cheerfully joked "It's your welcoming committee". Gah. It was my first time to experience a typhoon and I remember texting "I'm scared" to my parents over in Brunei. There was no electricity for two weeks after that.

Many more typhoons entered and left the country during my stay. One of the worst would probably be the one where I saw someone's roof flying through the air, and then a chair (or was it slightly sofa-ish?). Crazy weather I tell you. I thanked whoever built our house silently everytime our house survived a typhoon. Bless them. ;)

The Philippines is experiencing quite cold temperatures at the moment, with Baguio reaching 7 °C and Naga City about 20 °C. Now, it may not be such a big deal for those of you who are exposed to winter each year but to us who live in the tropics, it's something new. The coldest recorded temperature in the Philippines is about 6°C and that was over a decade ago. News say this is because of the a cold front blowing over the country. This is sort of good news to the fashionistas who have always wanted to don scarves and coats like Blair and Serena on Gossip Girl, but for others who don't have the resources for warm blankets, they have to endure the cold.

Just imagine the people who do not have the luxury of a water heater, and yet they take a bath in the morning even if the water is ice-cold~! Brr~! On the bright side, no need to turn on your air-conditioners or sweat in the tropical heat.

It's already February and the chill is still there, according to my friends. Some fear that very cold weather may mean extreme heat this coming summer. The crops haven't been affected, thankfully and the price of food or vegetables have not gone up (which many are grateful for).

Now, over here in Brunei (I sorta feel like a weatherman now), this small country on the island of Borneo isn't spared from the freakish (for lack of a better term) weather, even if it is super duper close to the equator. There have been floods all over the country and I haven't seen this kind of heavy rain ever since I moved here in 1991. A couple of landslides have injured residents and it doesn't look like the rain will stop pouring. We live in a flat (apartment) so we don't really have to worry about floods unless we go out. People I know have been stranded on flooded roads (more reason for Brunei to build extra roads on higher ground levels).

I recall my elementary days when I first learned about global warming. Nobody really cared because there weren't any tangible effects yet, and people had just started to care about the ozone layer. Our unhealthy ozone layer isn't going to repair itself. It's not enough to protest on the streets, sign petitions and what-nots, everyone has to do something about it.

Since global warming is caused by excessive levels of carbon dioxide, the best way is for all of us to just stop... breathing.

I kid.

According to WikiHow, one way to help reduce global warming is to opt for vegetarian or vegan meals. It may take a while for me to get into this. But I eat more than enough vegetables everyday. Other ways you may already know: Recycling, buying refills instead of new bottles, unplugging unused appliances, etc.

Good luck to all of us trying to prevent global warming.

--------------

I heart watching clouds.

Do you think this is a heart or a butterfly?
Save the world for me.

"We have the yearning to do what is best
Be someone special from all of the rest
Nation and brothers in unity
Building tomorrow for you and for me"
- Yesterday's Dream

Techie at heart? Not really.

2009-02-07T15:01:00.000-08:00

I am going to touch on a few things today.

If you're using a desktop PC, do you know which plug each of the computer input and output devices go into (at the back of the system unit)? Clearly nowadays, it is sort of considered unheard of for a person to not know something as basic as this. Do you know what SEO for blogging means? One-way links? Don't worry, not knowing these things shouldn't make you feel bad.. I haven't grasped these concepts either but everyone is into these things now. Technology changes all the time and the internet is a really huge universe of a billion possibilities which is why a lot of new terms come up once in a while.

And after desktop PCs, there are laptops and then mini-laptops and then palm-tops, PDAs, etc.

The coming of the iPod does have a lot of pros and cons. You can listen to your favorite music while waiting for the bus, on the train or even on your way home from school. The biggest downside I see to iPods and anything to do with headphones outside of home is that it breeds sociopaths. Back in university, there were a lot of students doing this, casually listening to music is the best way of avoiding contact with other people. "I didn't hear/see you because I was busy with my iPod/mp3" is the usual excuse when you're screaming at the top of your lungs or waving like crazy at someone and they don't even give you a glance.

It gets pretty annoying. Doesn't it? Technology makes people a little less human. Online, you can claim you have 2453 friends on Facebook, Friendster, Myspace etc. but in real life, are you really that friendly? It's just that I am not so into all the pretense you can mask yourself with when you're in the cyber world. Don't get me wrong, I love all the friends I have made over the internet because I know it took a while for us to get to know each other and I wouldn't think twice about meeting them in real life (No, I do not think any of you are psychos. :P)

The mobile phone is another invention that we will probably keep for a million more years unless someone invents something more creative communication-wise. You can text anywhere you are to someone anywhere around the world, and I have lived in the rumored-to-be texting capital of the world, the Philippines. Trust me, I am surprised my friends aren't suffering from Carpal Tunnel Syndrome.

Plus, people lose most of their spelling abilities when they text too much. I usually text in full spelling and it sometimes annoys me to receive something like "k tnx" OR "wr u nw" without punctuations.. and where do all the vowels go?

Even after all that ranting, I can't help but be thankful to technology. Now I can chat with my friends who are halfway across the world, watch online channels I can't get on TV, easily stay updated with news around the globe, study a language without enrolling in a class, and all this I can do without getting up from my computer chair.

-----------

I heart computers

and mobile phones

but I heart nature more.

It's the TREE HUGGER in ME.

A year older, a year wiser - it's not my birthday!

2009-02-06T00:56:00.000-08:00

Happy Birthday Pops!

Our family went out to celebrate my dad's birthday today and it's been a while since I left my little sanctuary (in front of the PC). Dad turned 56 years old. He's my personal hero. My da has been through a million experiences and when he goes on about his life before he was hired to work here in Brunei, I always listen attentively. Because dad knows best. He is a man of a few words, but when he says something, it can be very thought-provoking. And I take seriously all the advice he's given me in the past.

Before, when I was younger and in my own chaotic puberty stage, it was easy to take my dad for granted. He is soooo patient with all five of us, including my mother [who I think is more of a handful than all of us combined. I kid, I kid. (^^.) ]

Hmm.. when asked whether I look more like my dad or like my mom, I say neither. Unlike my older brother (who is somewhat a splitting image of my mother albeit taller, chubbier, and maybe less emotional) my younger sister (who has chinky eyes just like my dad), my youngest sister (who is a younger version of our paternal grandmother) and youngest brother (who isn't called Junior* for nothing), I feel like an outcast (insert moment of self-pity here).

However, one thing is certain for me, my sense of humor came from my father. Yes, if I have made you laugh at one time or another, you have my dad to thank. Some of you may know that I easily laugh at jokes too, no matter how lame they are -- trust me, I laugh at anything and everything under the sun, if they are properly delivered.

Anyway, we finally have a new room with its own toilet (it's a long story). I woke up to the smell of paint this noon. The first thing my dad did when he woke up was to redecorate the room. He probably also fixed the pipes in the new bathroom. I think my dad can repair anything. My brother is actually following in his footsteps.

Okay, off to get some shut-eye now. My eyes are a bit swollen from watching this Japanese movie my sis bought.

I'm such a sucker for dramas. Pfft. Like I don't have enough drama in my life.

++++

* Filipino parents usually call their youngest, eldest son OR the son that they think looks a lot like the father "Junior" or at least that's what my parents have led me to believe

-------------------

I heart cakes.

and more cakes.

While going through the millions of pictures on Google,
I thought this one was pretty amusing:

Lovin' it~!
(although I don't know if the taste is as good as it looks - I like to think so.)

Roar Roar Roar

2009-02-05T02:17:00.000-08:00

I woke up around noon AGAIN today. Anyway, remember when I said I went to the Study in UK exhibition yesterday? Turns out my sister and I got our photograph in the national paper. No, it's not a full close-up shot and I was half-hidden from view but heck, there goes my 15 minutes of fame. Haha.

Finished watching one of the Japanese dramas I started this year and starting on a new one while I still have time to spare (and can still post updates on my fangirl-y blog). :)

What else is there to blog about.. Ahh..

Did you know? The ruler of this country went to the Philippines recently and apparently the queen (*i think*) bought some rabbits from there. Don't ask me what kind. They were probably a rare breed or something to have the royals interested in them. It's good to know they have the heart for animals.

Someone also mentioned that they have a pet tiger inside the palace somewhere. I am so so envious. I'm pretty sure they aren't using the tiger like a watchdog or something but it must be pretty hard to maintain. They have special trainers all the way from Thailand if I am not mistaken. Pretty cool.

Living in a country that's governed by absolute monarchy sort of has its perks.

But I still have to watch what I have to write on my blog. This may be an era of free speech but it's better if I stay out of trouble. :D A highschool teacher of mine told the class that phones here are tapped.

Oh well, that's the price of security.

----------
I heart animal prints.I have unsuccessfully pestered my mother for a pet tiger for about a decade.
Ever since I read Aladdin.
How come only Princess Jasmine gets to have one?

Is school fair and square?

2009-02-04T06:55:00.000-08:00

I feel really tired today. This is like Day Two of Britishness for me. My sister and I went to a 'Study Education in UK' fair sponsored by the British Council at the Rizqun Hotel this afternoon. Some of you may or may not know that I actually plan to study again, perhaps for a Postgraduate Diploma or a Master's Degree in Psychology.

Rhona (sis) just finished her O Levels (8 'O's and an A in English~!).. and I really think she did well although she isn't too happy with her English Literature result which is the only subject she didn't get an O in (Those familiar with the British curriculum would know what an O means. Or if you read Harry Potter, hikhik).

So many students were there too and sadly, here in Brunei, they do not offer scholarships for foreign students who want to study abroad (which is why we wish we were at least Permanent Residents here - we have enough years of living here to prove it but my dad has to add more Malay vocab). There is, however, a scholarship to study here but not in courses I plan to get into.

Look, FREE PENS~!

I got a lot of prospectuses from the present universities so the goodie bag I was given at the entrance was so heavy it could have knocked anyone out if they dared make me angry. *LOL* Before I sleep tonight, I am going to scan through them.

Adding this to my Reading List . .
I need real books soon.

Oh, and I don't know if it was just me spending so much time at home (buried in movie&drama-watching) that I suddenly spoke to this girl out of the blue. She was in the same university booth as I was and having not talked to ANYONE else except my family members for two straight weeks, I needed some fresh air. She studies in an international school around here and is German. (What is this, show and tell? :P) Here in Brunei, even in the Philippines, it is almost (I say almost because times are changing) taboo to just strike up a conversation with a stranger. In other countries, it's probably part of their daily routine, no?

Need to clear my head in a bit. Too much information and I can't decide where to go for further studies.

I mean, London is just a few hours away from Paris. That's HEAVEN for me. :D

Even if studying in Britain means selling an arm or a leg.

Ok, I won't go that farrr but still. It doesn't kill to dream. :)

-----------------------------------

And to add to all the education-ness of this post, I thought you should all know:

I heart books.

Bookworm to the end~!

The valley of possibilities

2009-02-03T08:53:00.000-08:00

Another day done and I am yet again still unaware of what I should be doing with my life. I feel perfectly contented just sitting around for the moment although I know one of these days something is going to happen and I have to force myself out of my lazy shoes and bring myself out to the real world.

I could do a fine living just being a hermit. Although it would be pretty tough to not interact with anyone once in a while and I am sure the cyber world is still considered a society albeit without all the strict codes and such.

Anyway, all I can remember doing is sleeping at around 6 am and watching a British movie. You guys watched "Angus, Thongs and Perfect Snogging"? It's a laugh fest I tell you. Poor kitty. And apparently that one movie just brought out all the British-ness in me (insert memories of my highschool days portraying Hermione in a Harry Potter school play) plus my sister says my Brit accent is passable as "good". Haha. Not that I can see any way it could help me in the future but WHOT-EH-VAH.

My parents also have started to spoil me a bit. They bought a truckload (alright -- maybe just a basket) of snacks and chocolates to keep me company when I am up till the wee hours of the morning doing God knows what kind of sites I visit to pass my time.

Hoping for a miracle on my doorstep tomorrow.

--------
I heart tea.

Okay, okay I am just saying that because
I have some heavy British weight on my shoulders.
And plus, I like the Korean tea culture.

But what I really want right now?
A mocha latte~!

I heart coffee.

I should have waited another day to post this picture but can't help it.
Coffee runs in my veins.
But not as much as chocolate~!

Lost

2009-02-02T10:27:00.000-08:00

Just looking at my past posts amuses me. They should be deleted but I guess I don't have the heart to do it. (Heart -- ack, hearts month~!)

I have a lot of things to blog about but somehow by the end of the day I end up dead tired and forget all about my blogging responsibilities. I would blame it on my weird schedule which includes waking up at around noon, watching dramas (you probably noticed that on my OTHER blog) and then staying on the PC until the wee hours of the morning.

My lifestyle should really be changed. But I can't do much about it. this is how it's going to be for a month or so. At least until I get my butt off the lazy chair and start to do something actually productive with my life. I just don't feel that motivated yet. Pssh.

Life, life, where art thou?

----
edit: Somehow, just sitting here in front of the PC with a glass of apple juice in my hand and some cake bread waiting to be devoured on the desk, makes life feel worthwhile again.

And I should be happy~! I have started learning how to play "River Flows in You" by Yiruma on the piano. And take note, I cannot read a single music note. Haha.

---------------------------
I heart chocolates

Month of Hearts

2009-02-01T09:53:00.001-08:00

Oh dear dear me. The month of hearts has finally arrived. I cannot remember spending a Valentine's Day out with a guy at all. Not even once. Apparently, the best way for me to be "committed" is during the later months of the year which is why I have to endure the dreaded day of Valentine's (exaggerating much?) not that I have anything against it anymore but yes, seeing everyone try to find a pair is sometimes painstakingly annoying.

TWENTY-ONE years. I have always wanted to be excited for a Valentine's date but then I quickly figured that I wouldn't die without one. :P

There are tons of things to do on Valentine's anyway. And I don't know why I have to blog about it so early when I know I'll definitely post something on that day itself. Pssh.

Nothing much has happened this January, just that I am going in and out of my online jobs. Not that tiring but I do need a lot of motivation to continue working. It beats not doing anything at home.

I miss my friends in Phils. I hope they're doing alright what with their graduation day coming up. And yes, Emma, we must go out again soon. ;)

I heart strawberries

-----------------------------------

Hearts Picture-a-thon starts today.

Hello to my chicas!

2009-01-21T03:12:00.000-08:00

Hung out at the Empire with Em and Iz two Sundays ago and it sort of removed a bit of anxiety from me, seeing the world again. I feel like I've on a self-imposed exile from society right now. Maybe it's good for me, or maybe not. Who knows.

I just know that I should be doing something else right now, instead of moping around in the house. Should start sending out applications to job sites and stuff but I WANT to study again. I really don't know what to do.

See you at the crossroads, crossroads, crossroads.. HELP!

Heck.

2009-01-20T22:49:00.000-08:00

It sucks to be me at the moment. I really feel like my world has come to a top, and that I am standing in the middle of a crossroads not knowing what to do. So what, I have a degree, I have a license to teach, but these things don't really tell me what I should do. I have a million images flashing through my mind on what I am supposed to be doing now or at least what I see myself as. But it's useless.

I need a splash of cold water on my face. Just to wake me up. But I really think that I am putting off things. Scared much? Just really lost. No lights to guide me ahead. How I miss studying. But I gotta push through with all my plans or I will never find myself again.

Gah.

Un-insane

2009-01-13T21:51:00.000-08:00

So maybe I am not insane but that statement doesn't make me sane either. I am so tired with all this blogging since I am trying to maintain at least four blogs. One on celebrities/TV shows, one on personal life, one on Psychology blogs and this one? I don't really know what this is for. i just want a place where I can handle all my insane thoughts.

And I love the layout of this blog still which is why I do not feel like deleting this just yet.

I've matured. But I don't know if my thinking has too.

The New Year

2008-01-02T09:23:00.000-08:00

Alright, so this is not my original blog but i like reading it on this one since I love my layout too much. LOL. I havent changed it at all. I find it quite cool. But anyway, yeah, for those who want to know, I am here in Brunei, having my vacation and I am close to going back to Phils to my life there, if you can actually call it a life. Bleh.

Anyway, I think I only have one New Year's Resolution, aside from trying to remove the flab gained from too much cheesecake during the holidays, and that is to actually allow myself to enjoy what I have and to accept anything that happens to me. I do not want to think of regrets anymore, they make me depressed and that's not a good thing even for me. Yes, even if I am a soon-to-be psychologist does not mean that I do not have problems of my own. I have loads. Perhaps one day i will be sitting on a lounge chair.

I have a lot of high hopes for 2008 knowing that I will soon graduate. Not from elementary or from high school but from university! WHOO. Makes me tingle with delight. The only thing that kinda destroys the mood is the thought of what ill do after graduation. But I will cross that bridge when I get there.

And that may be too soon.

Hearts Day

2007-01-20T17:30:00.000-08:00

Hearts Day is drawing near and the only thing I don't like about it is when people expect you to have somebody by your side. But what the hell, it's not like everybody CARES if they're single or not. Why rush things, right? Besides, there are so many many things that you can do on Valentines Day that doesnt force you to have a partner. Like the LOVAPALOOZA.

I'm kidding. :D

Well, I just wanted to type something about it and besides, Im still wondering on how to make THIS blog different from the rest. I think Im going to make it my poetry blog. :P

I miss my best friends. :(

2007-01-13T12:23:00.000-08:00

Oh my goodness.

After publishing that post and viewing my blog, I re-read all my previous posts and I realized that they're about my first break-up. Oh man. That sucks. Bigtime. I cant believe that was around two + years ago. *shakes head*

I am currently single, and will probably stay this way for a while. Not in the mood to let a guy into my life, for the sole reason that I dont want to go through all the hurt and pain again. I know those things come together but I have too much to think about to include guys in it.

another try

2007-01-13T12:14:00.000-08:00

I've decided to give the school paper another try before I truly decide if I should quit or not. I joined the school paper with the hopes of really finding my dreams as a journalist come true, but in the end, I couldn't fulfill them. I dont want to blame others for what I should have worked hard for.

But I cant blame myself either. Maybe it just isnt the right thing to do. Maybe Im not meant to be a writer. Maybe Im not meant for anything. But Im giving it another try anyway.

It's been two years plus since I wrote a post for this blog and I feel like it's SO deprived. I mean, this is my VERY FIRST blog and it underwent a lot of changes, but my other blogs have more posts than this one.

I will try to make up for it though.

Life tends to hit you really hard sometimes. I wish I had a force field around me.

Nuthin much

2004-08-03T06:32:00.000-07:00

haha.. just got off the fone with em.. its not fair! theyre gna have a class pic without me!hmph. i will not allow it. no way! im goin back to skul for it! hahaha i am goin crazy arent i? THATS me! hehehe. whatz up people? u all ayte? hope so.. i dunno y ure readin this but thanx anyway. bYe bye ! peace out!

Nuff Love, ReEn..

YOUCH

2004-07-27T09:00:00.000-07:00

Hey its been a long tym! sOrry ive been pretty busy.im not even allowed o chat.its like midnyt ryt now. im so bored and i have to sort out my priorities now cuz im feeling preety helpless after this first break up of mine. It made me see myself in many ways and I hate it. I dun like the way I feeL now. im holding back all the tears inside me because if i let the dam break,i know i will never stop cryin. Im very fed up with myself. i dont know what to do. I'm sick and tired of turning to physical abuse of myself. it doesnt really do much. i need sumthin new to do.i just feel so ALONE. i know many others keep saying its okay but they don't know how i really feel! they re not in my shoes. how wud they noe. thank gudness i have sum friends to still help me keep my feet on the ground. thnx a lot. im really scared of my test results too. im REALLY scared. i dunno wat my rents wud do if i got bad marks. probly kill me (well, not literally) but u noe wat i mean.. *gulp* well,dats all.tke cre of urself huever bothers to read this..

HeaRtBreaK

2004-07-19T21:32:00.000-07:00

I never thought I would ever fall in love. Well, i have.It may be the greatest feeling but once its gone, it hurts LIKE HELL. I broke up with my boyfriend today and Im telling you it hurtS!! i cant believe I gave him the title of my FIRSt boyfriend!! Damn him. But i still love him. i just hope that he's happy wherever he is.... *SOB*

New bLog!

2004-07-12T03:34:00.000-07:00

heLLo EverYone!! reNee HerE. finaLLy gOtteN mY oWn bLog!! ^_^